Newtown Shooter Lanza Had Sensory Processing Disorder
(see link at bottom)This article just struck a major cord in my heart. Without the amazing support team at Bishop Elementary and Family Service and Guidance Center, my son, Jay, would likely end up like Adam Lanza.
I HATE labels, but it is because of these labels - and my natural love of learning and putting my whole heart into everything I do and choose to support (and you better believe I'm gonna support my child!) - that my son has received the incredible help he needs to learn to cope with his diagnoses, and function "normally" in the world around him, and that I have received amazing support.
Jay has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and anxiety. We deal with behaviors every day that most don't understand. So many people in our lives (past and present, teachers, family, church members and more) have judged Jay's behaviors as just being "unruly" or "too impulsive" and even judged my parenting as lacking or lazy, saying I "allow him" to behave the way he does and that I "allow him" to be disrespectful. I can't say "THANK YOU" enough to the team of amazing people who have been able to see past his behaviors and see his heart and work towards helping him manage and function in school and the community. I LOVE YOU BISHOP & FSGC STAFF!!!
He is under stimulated by touch - thus constantly needing to rub some kind of crocheted blanket/scarf type thing between his fingers and sucking his thumb when anxiety is high. This started at just four months old. At that time, I just thought, "oh how sweet, I have a thumb-sucker!" and "He loves the blankie his Auntie made him! There must be a lot of love crocheted in that yarn!" He never put the thing down!
He's also overstimulated by chaotic noise - like music class and worship time at church. He shuts down and sinks in his chair and covers his ears and often cries if it carries on for too long.
By the time he got to Preschool in a public school classroom he was reading and comprehending full sentences and short books, but couldn't stay in his seat or keep his hands to himself. He was incredibly impulsive and forced the teachers to "think outside the box" and reach deep into their "bag of tricks" to help him function in the classroom with his peers. Kids have made fun of him and that makes him mad because he can't help it (most of the time). He's lashed out in the past and ended up in the Principal's office multiple times in PreK and Kindergarten. (I must be honest and say also that not EVERYTHING that landed him in the Principal's office was instigated by someone making fun of him. He would also get mad at himself and feel helpless and throw major tantrums in class or he would start talking and not be able to stop or slow down, and he would do lots of little things that were just disrespectful to the teacher and/or a peer and/or the classroom.... and other things as well) I joke sometimes that the Principal had me on speed dial!
In Kindergarten, bringing his blankie to school was no longer acceptable because there was no more nap-time So he thought (with his genius IQ of 136 as tested by a Psychologist who specializes in IQ testing that we were referred to by his therapist) that it would be a good idea to cut his blankie into pieces so he could keep some in his pocket at all times. As I'm sure you can already picture, his precious crocheted blankie unraveled into a bunch of strings of yarn. We ended up with what we lovingly referred to as "blankie boogers" - these tiny balls of yarn that barely met his sensory need when he rubbed them between his fingers - all over the house, car, classroom, and in every pocket of every pair of pants, jacket and even socks!
It was during Kindergarten that we were able to get Jay an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and began working with a team of people at the school whose job it was to help Jay succeed in the classroom. I am so super thankful for his school teachers and Principal, and support staff. They love him and truly wish to seek a solution and help him - and support me. They have all been strong and compassionate enough to see through the behaviors and see his heart.
In first grade, my closest friend from High school kindly crocheted him a scarf - that conveniently for Jay was socially acceptable to "wear" to school most of the year - that replaced his tattered and unraveled blankie. But, music class and church class was becoming an increasing problem. He was often punished for not participating in music class at school or for acting out. At church, he entered the "big kid" class this year as well. He was in a group of 50+ kids ranging in age from 1st through 5th grade. Almost every week he was sent to the back of the room to sit alone with a teacher as punishment for not behaving properly during the lesson. Things like fidgeting, or wiggling in his seat, or sitting during worship instead of standing and participating would always land him in trouble. He got to the point that he would rather miss church than school. He could tell he had more love and support at school than he did at church - and that broke my heart and caused me to look elsewhere to worship.
Now, Jay is in 2nd grade and doing superbly! He still has days and situations that set him off and cause him to shut down or act out, but those are rare. He is learning and progressing!!! Each year in school has been better than the previous!! Again - THANK YOU BISHOP!!! We also have found an amazing and compassionate church with children's pastors who truly have a heart for the kids and families they serve!
He does great at home most of the time. He is calm, sweet, caring, thoughtful, and able to focus on any single activity he chooses (he LOVES video games, reading and building with Legos!) I have gone through extreme efforts to make sure he can function here and have a place to truly be himself. I do all I can and work hard to learn what works for him and what helps and what makes life worse. We've found that artificial ingredients and flavors and preservatives in foods cause him to be more hyperactive and impulsive and emotional, so we've eliminated all of them. (check out: www.feingold.org ) But, outside of home, almost no one can see my efforts judging by his behavior alone. Classrooms have been difficult for him, travel (though intended to be a fun time) has been a nightmare, just about anything out of the routine and comfort of home can set him off and trigger some kind of emotional outbreak or impulse. We've been through financial ups and downs, and periods of time without an operating vehicle and several moves before we got to this mostly stable place we are now. Each of those transitional were complete nightmares! People don't understand unless they've experienced it firsthand.
" Family stress and anxiety results when children are untreated, according to STAR's Miller. Like Michael and perhaps Adam Lanza, they are often teased "unmercifully" and misunderstood. She said families dealing with SPD have "significantly more stress" than children diagnosed even with bipolar or other psychiatric disorders."If the environment is attacking you, you would be nervous, too," she said. Parents like Nancy Lanza need support, and their children need friends, said Miller." - from the article below
Jay is an incredibly intelligent and wise young man, and I am truly blessed to have the opportunity - and challenge - to raise him. I am so grateful for the path God has led us down and for all the people he has put in our path that love and support us. (OK, I'm crying again - maybe its not just Jay who's emotional!)
I'm writing this to let others know of our struggle, but also of our victory. God loves Adam Lanza just as much as He loves my Jay, and I believe without a doubt that God wanted the Lanza family to have the same help and support that we have. My heart hurts for those kids who struggle functioning in classrooms, or the community or even at home. Jay is my number one reason for doing child care - with all that I have learned in my journey to help him succeed, I have a wealth of knowledge, experience, love, and compassion for children of all different backgrounds. I want to "pay back" the help we've received by being a blessing to other children and families as best I can.
God created us to need each other. Kids like Adam Lanza who are isolated and/or struggle without help and support and education about their personal needs and the way their bodies and brains work are the real victims. True, many precious young children and adults lost their lives in Newtown - and I'm not belittling that in any way. It was tragic. My point is only that if someone had reached out for help - or reached out TO help - while Adam was younger, the tragedy may have been avoided. Other similar situations can be avoided if we help those who truly need it - not just increase security and gun control. While increased security and gun control are good things, I believe education and awareness of these behavior disorders should also be increased. Adam Lanza was truly hurting emotionally and psychologically, and though I don't know what caused him to lash out as a terrible violent monster on that last day, I do know that I do not want it to happen again and I am doing all that I can and seeking all the help I can get to prevent it in our community.
Check out this article on Lanza. Be sure to read it all:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/newtown-shooter-adam-lanza-sensory-processing-disorder-controversial/story?id=18532645
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(This is a sentence Jay created with word magnets - and a dry erase marker - on my dryer in the kitchen recently. This just proves that with help and support anyone can succeed! I love it!)
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