Reflections of 2010

I was absolutely changed for the better in 2010.  I now find myself standing on a brand new shore - a land of plenty where I have NO lack!  I purposed in my heart at the beginning of 2010 to follow His Spirit and meditate His Word as never before; I sowed seeds of blessings and increase throughout the year, and harvest has come, and I've got the sweet taste of VICTORY!  2010 was a year of hardship and many new beginnings.  I had to forget all I had done before - on my own - and continually look ahead to where God was leading me.  It was absolutely not a continuation of what I've had before.

2010 began with a commitment to give more of myself to God, to meditate His Word and go deeper in the things of God.  I trusted God had something better for me - and for my son - and I was tired of trying to find it on my own. 

I started a jewelry business and made a commitment to give 20% to God in January, 2010.  My student loans (that I had previously lived on) ran out in April, and I had not yet made enough income through selling jewelry to pay all the bills.  By the beginning of May, we were evicted from our town home and left with no where to go.  We lost many of our belongings - including some furniture.  For five weeks, we had a friend who allowed us to sleep on her living room floor and store some things in her basement - but we spent most of our days in our van. 
Again I went before God with a commitment.  I needed an income and a stable place to live for me and my son.  I committed to humble myself and fully give my cares to Him and to step back and let Him work.  Every day I dug deeper into His Word and prayed in the Spirit before going to look for jobs.  I quickly got a job waiting tables and was connected to a resource agency who helped me find a temporary furnished one bedroom apartment.  But still, I had great trouble paying the rent.  My jewelry business flopped and I ended up owing more to the company than I had earned in commission.  I had trouble with several clients which made it tough to build my business further.  Waiting tables proved to be less than enough. 

In July, I was in a car accident that resulted in my van being totaled.  The other person was found at fault, so their insurance company was supposed to pay me what my van was worth.  After a month of negotiations with them, I got a check for about half what the same make and model of my van was selling for on car lots in town.  Again, I was behind on rent so I used part of that money to catch up.  That left me with just enough money to but a small car with high mileage that broke down on me six weeks after buying it.  My son and I began riding the city bus and walking almost everywhere we needed to go.  On average, I walked five miles a day while I was looking for jobs, a home I could afford, and doing all that was necessary to complete the paperwork for both. 

All the while, I was neglecting my son emotionally and he was behaving horribly in school.  He was sent out of his Kindergarten classroom daily as disciplinary action.  We had three school meetings involving a psychologist, social worker, behavior specialist, counsellor, the principal and his teacher.  We finally agreed he was academically advanced, bored, and overwhelmed. 
More new beginnings for us when my son was placed in a second grade reading group after the first meeting, then a first grade math group after the second meeting, and finally got a comprehensive evaluation after the third meeting to test him for gifted as well as developing an Individual Education Plan for him. 

In November, I could not pay the rent, again, and we were evicted - again with no where to go.  My Grandmother was placed in a long term rehab center shortly before this and she offerred her house to us - but only for a two week period while we were working with a support team.  While staying at my Grandmother's was a nice idea - it was only a mile and a half from my son's school, a tough walk in the cold, but doable - my aunt (Grandma's power of attorney) did not want us there.  She said I was taking advantage of an 86 year old stroke victim.  She had the water turned off in my Grandmother's house for exactly two weeks.  She told my mother that it was not her fault that my mom was not done raising me yet.  So, with no water, we had to go to various places or friends houses to get showers, brush teeth, use the bathroom, etc.
Meanwhile, the support team we were working with connected us to a rapid rehousing program who would pay the rent for three months to help me get back on my feet.  I had again been hunting for jobs - but this time I asked God for more specific direction.  I didn't want just another job - as waiting tables was - I wanted to be in the specific will of God for my life.  I knew that was child care - but I didn't know exactly how He wanted me to pursue that career.  I had done home daycare for four years in the past tha

In December, I began to feel that God had heard my cries for help and opened the windows of Heaven and poured out a blessing on us so much that we could (almost) not contain it!  I started working at the Christian Preschool, preaching and teaching the love of Jesus to the most precious and eager young minds - the first step of the calling of God on my life.  We moved into the exact house I asked God for - absolutely every single thing I had asked God for was in this house! (during the beginning of the eviction process in November, I had asked God for a house with a fenced in back yard, a kitchen fit for entertaining, two nice comfortable bedrooms and a Christian landlord - I got it all - and more!)  The house is one mile from church and one mile from my son's school - which was great because our car was still sitting at my parents' house broken down.  Weather was almost never unbearable to walk where we needed to go.  Some one else was paying our rent for three months.  My son had a fenced in back yard for the first time in his life.  We celebrated Christmas with my parents and brother in our house so my dad could see how far we've come!  Even my car got fixed just in time for 9 inches of snow! Praise God!

Through all that we've endured in 2010, I clung to God's promises to never leave me, to pull me out of darkness, to do a new thing in me and through me, to take my burdens, and to open the doors of opportunity I needed to move forward into His plan for my life.  I walked with Him every step of the way, drawing nearer when the winds of adversity blew strong against us.  I rejoiced in the middle of the storm and thanked Him for already giving us the victory!  I did not grow weary in doing what He told me to do, because I knew I would reap a harvest and could rejoice because I knew this was just a test.  God was preparing me for better things to come!

Now, at the beginning of 2011, I am rejoicing at all that the Lord has done in my life!